SPRING

SPRING!!!

Its always this time of year, after the holidays where everything inside me longs for spring. The gentle breeze on in my hair, the somewhat warmth on my face....and bare feet! Flip Floops.......signs of whats to come......walking in the woods, swimming, boating, warm sand, swimming, camping, cooking outside, exploring .........

SPRING PLEASE HURRY!

Gray

a day spent with my head in a book that I swore for two years I would never read. Coffee with someone who has turned into a friend more then anything else, and then the pain....

I found myself in the arms of a child, he came with a warm embrace, a little buddy, and as I gave him a hug, I found tears sliding down my face, I tired to hold them, but they came. To be innocent again, there are days that I long for that, and there are days that give me joy to be older that much wiser......do you see my problem?

Pain that I thought I had so cleverly got rid of. Or maybe I buried it and didn't know I had done so. Either way, I find myself convincing myself that it doesn't exist and that its not worth my tears. In return, I lay awake at night questioning God, why so much pain in the world, so much evil....and yet I've known the sadness of Gods heart, I've heard of his longing to redeem man.....so now I'm conflicted, what to do next....

And though it has nothing to do with this previous relationship, I'm deeply troubled and feel horrible for allowing the pain that I thought had been healed to seep into this relationship.


Now back to the gray, the cloudy forecast. Can green come back, be aloud to grow again? Something only I can answer.....

That's the problem with pain, it turns you into someone you don't want to be, or rather, into someone you weren't intended to be........I am not pain, nor am I drama. I long for smooth paths, paths that aren't so winding-turning this way and that....my deepest desire is to bring laughter to people, make them feel joy, and give them peace........I want to be a women of integrity, strength, tenderness, compassion, alluring, desirable, beautiful.

Yes I know more what I want, what I don't want, but that damn pain is so lingering and ALWAYS gets in the way.....

Simple

Simple

Simple

Had many colors

Found in many facets of life

Open and turn around

And maybe you might

Find Simple in his eyes

Simple

Sometimes fragile

Like holding onto sand

Windblown tossed

Across many a horizon

Find Simple in her hand

Simple

Maps out the constellations

Spinning planets in due course

Sending stars flying

Wishing Simple to stay

Simple

Crashes with the tides great thunder

Baring seas hidden treasure

Maybe lapping at a seashore wonder

A lighthouse pleading warning

Helping to guide Simple on its way

Just

Its something that's longing
to put my finger on it I'm not sure
it comes and goes
like the winds that shift in their course

The questions I ask
echo off the empty walls
answers are only vibrations
not giving into an easy yes
or give me certain nos

So I sit, or maybe stand
weary with a layden heart
the stars don't laugh
no direction to guide
but hope.....

Yes that still remains
hope which is the color grey
if hope has a color
or even if it has a home.

Be Still

I came across this statement "Be still and know that I am the Lord your God" I haven't heard this in SO LONG maybe about 2 years. I know that right now EVERYTHING is GRAY with God and I, and that I may be turning left and right......but this finds residence in my heart tonight...... That in the midst of the storm, in t...he gray haze, when nothing makes sense, not even God, Be still......and know......and there is that hint of peace, and my heart longs for more.

Tears from the Heart

I just want to crawl into bed and cry ........and cry, will someone find something in me that's worth everything to them...


I chose this picture because this is what I feel like, that my house is a disaster, that no one will want to enter, no one will want to find out who lives here. That I've messed up one too many times, that there is nothing inside of me that is worth value.
While I lay in bed I ask myself ....is there anything thats worth everything to someone else, am I worth the keep, am I treasure to them. I know that I have so much to offer, but no time is allowed from me to show it......no encouragement, no commitment, just empty words sometimes, empty promises.....
Maybe that's how my house became such a mess, because I began to not care, if everything is so empty, and maybe I began to just allow the junk from others to clutter on the floor and make its way into my home.

Right now, I am on my knees begging that he will find something in me, like he says he does, like the way he looks at me and tells me he is sure. But sometimes its like banging my head up against a rock!

Today I celebrated my 26th birthday. Unlike other birthdays I managed to find myself in the living room rummaging through correspondence letters betwe

Today I celebrated my 26th birthday. Unlike other birthdays I managed to find myself in the living room rummaging through correspondence letters between Sister Leonora and parents of Bangladeshi children to be adopted. But, better then that, my adopted parents where in the room. This is the first in HISTORY of our family that we were able to do this. To read through papers together and converse amongst each other. It was quiet uncomfortable for me, I wanted to cry to pray and to wonder out loud, but I held all of that in because my parents were visible.

So many mixed emotions tonight, I believe that my parents felt the same way. They knew deep in their hearts that I would eventually take great interest in my adoption and my background.

I read about my first five teeth and about how I was the “runt” of the litter, per say. At one point Sister Leonora was worried that I would catch cold and would not be strong…she wrote “…I worried because when she (Munni) was very small I worried she would catch cold, but she is getting stronger. She has five teeth and her hair is starting to get curly.” In Aug. of 1982 she wrote “Some of the older babies were playing with toys on the floor and Munni was watching them. She gives you such a big big smile, that you can’t resist picking her up. “I took this picture at the baby center she was really laughing. She is a very happy baby and I think she is very bright”. I also read that when we woke up in the morning we were feed Suji, rice, dal chicken, egg and vegetables.

I learned I was involved with a group called Sisters of the Holy Cross Apostolate Abroad, I don’t know who they are or what their organization does, but I will be researching! I learned I pretty much owe a TON to Sister Leonora and a woman named Mindy. Also to Mother Teresa who fought for all 22 of us in Bangladesh, and other orphaned children in Bangladesh.

I learned (I sorta already knew this) that my mother was most likely rapped. I came from Center for Training and Rehabilitation of Destitute Women. Nor do I know what this organization is, but again I will research.

When I finished looking at all the photos, all the cards and letters, I had so many tears stored up, but managed to keep them from flowing, until I walked in my parent’s bathroom to hug my mom. I told her what I said to my dad… “I love you and thank you for adopting me” But then something happened…and I could hold them back any more. I cried in her arms…and when I switched shoulders, for the first time I looked into the mirror and saw me in her arms. But I saw a brown person in a white persons arms…. for the first time I distinguished between her and I. I wondered how she could love a child that was not of her own flesh and blood, how she could look at me and call me beautiful when I did not look at all like her…

Other things have struck me, of how much God was in this from the very beginning. How much Sister Leonora and Mother Treasea and this women named Mindy prayed and prayed for us. Even now it has almost come full circle, as I gaze at a rosary recently given to me by a friend, how much God and possibly Mary with other Saints were watching and keeping all 22 of us. How they must have prayed and conversed with God as well. Amazing. The blessings that must have been prayed upon us every day….and the prophetic words spoken to us and upon us…..how do I know this….because of the letters that were sent to our families….mine was that I would reach people through my smile. In EVERY letter that was written about me there was always reference about my laughter and smile……

I pray that the other blessings and prophecies will be poured out on my life as well, and that some day I might return to a home that is so foreign to me. I know that I might get to reunite with Sister Leonora, that in itself is HUGE and maybe…just maybe I might get answers!

Until then I pray that my heart and soul be content with finding my identity in Christ alone.

Remember

There's just something about days like today.......days that bring you back in time to sweet memories. Of times of pirates and princesses, cowboys and Indians, of tree climbing and berry picking. Of summer long boating and brake your neck tubing, claming on the river and bonfires at night. Blueberry pancakes on Saturday morning and wave jumping in the afternoon. Trips to the park candy store (25 cents would buy a bag) and ice cream drips on your favorite shirt. Of suntan lotion and sand forts (Aunt Mary: where did all the lawn chairs go?!?!). Fart Quest adventures and hiking the dunes, dinner for 20 or so and the smell of the grills, and watching siblings rock out to "lolly pop" and "great balls of fire" on picnic tables, guitars 'n all (aka: brooms) .................summer days and summer nights......I pray that I can give my children memories that they will remember on days of "blue skies and sunshine"

My Joshua

............I wonder if I passed up love….if I passed up true love… for a long time now I have trained my heart to be harden to a loves call, I’ve trained my ear to avoid a mans gentle whispers and cunning touches….but I wonder if I will miss true loves call. I wonder if my heart will recognize its beckon plea. Or if, because of this mighty fortress I have devised around this heart of mine, I will reject the love I am waiting for time and time again. How can you be sure of its authentic? How can you know it’s the kind of love that you know just by one touch, or by looking into their eyes and know? Or when you truly know that person for their perfections and flaws….I still yet have to find that….but wonder if this wall I’ve built will crumble or if I will ask my “Joshua” to march around, depending on God to crush what’s standing, to enter in and discover what treasures lies inside… (Joshua 6)

A Classic

My mind has landed on a bible story that I haven't given much thought to for years. The story of Noah. Now to refresh your memory God came to Noah telling him of his anger and displeasure of the evil of mankind. God told Noah that He was going to send a flood to destroy the world to the time that the waters came 100 years had passed. 100 years of ridicule, 100 years of FAITH; a faith in something that seemed like it would never happen. But it did- God had promised and it happened.
As a human I'm surprised that Noah didn't doubt or give up after looking to the heavens year after year and seeing blue sky's. But what seem like impossible became possible- and they who were wicked and lacked faith perished.
Throughout my life I have only gotten the lesson of the rainbow, the lesson that God promised never to send a flood of that size again. I have found new meaning in the classic story of the flood. That when God promises something, He follows through completely. Which begs the question...if God follows through on promises of His displeasure of mankind, how much more will He follow through on His promises of LIFE. So when I read promises such as "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you...to give you a hope and a future" or from Christ "...and lo I am with you even to the ends of the earth", that the God of Jeremiah and the Father of Christ will follow through completely on His promise to ME.
Its as if Christ is saying... Believe in my purpose have FAITH-depending only on me- and I will give you prosperity, a future-I will give you treasures the BEST I have to offer.

I am and will be your Father and you are and always will be my daughter. And a true Father will give His children everything He can-even to the point of death...

Load

With everything that is going on....I find myself like this little girl....arms up in the air wondering where her Father is and wondering if He will turn His attentive ears to her cry......

This picture is a great reminder of that though I may be going through crap......the "crap" can't go through me.....because the King of Peace, the Father of my Heart.....the One who created time, who cares for my every need is right there.......smiling at me and reminding me that there is NOTHING on this earth that will satisfy me and make me whole.....only being with Him, allowing Him to fill me inside. Though I may not have full time work, my grandmother is dying and bills are overdue....Christ will take care of me.....He has been for the past three months....why would he stop now....

I'd Rather...

Choices.... We all make them....But I do whole hardly believe that its what we LEARN in those choices that define who we are....and if the choices we make are based on whether we have God in our lives.... And I have to be honest with you, sometimes we don't make the brightest choices, they can be down right stupid! We end up deeply questioning who we are, who we are becoming. We start to freak out at the choice we made was one of the "stupid" choices...we start to focus on the addictions, sins and failures that plague our lives.

So when the choices I make begin to show me who I am starting to become and I don't like the outcome, I am able to begin to make a conscious decision to turn from my ways and CHOSE Grace that is offered. Though I know that my God is a God of righteousness that he asks of true repentance I know that I am always welcomed back into the arms of my Father.

I rather like the fact that God gave us choice as an option. I like the fact that I make bad choices and mess up...for several reasons......

For one I am able to see that I am a sinner in desperate need of a Savior. Secondly I am able to remain humble and remain in a constant state of knowing that I am a needy person. A daughter who needs the the constant care giving of a Father who gave His all for her. In making bad choices I expect my Father to discipline his children, but within that discipline I become a better person, a wiser daughter.
Lastly I can see the person I am becoming and to be honest with you I rather know who I don't want to become then not knowing what I want to become.

Though this may seem like a backwards thought, I feel that my messy and shameful choices gives me a deep thirst and knowledge that Christ needs to be the center of my life, constantly reminding me that every moment is a battle for my soul. That He is fighting, that there is sin and no way of escaping it until the day of His glorious return. He also reminds me that though I am a sinner, the furthest away from being pure that I can rest in the hope that He has the Victory...He had it all a long, because of the great love He has for His Children.


Choices..... We all have to make them, and if we make wrong choices, be sure to recieve the lessons and consequences, but then move forward in Grace, being grateful for the gift of Godly wisdom- knowing a little bit more of who you do and don't want to become.

OPEN ARMS FOR ASIA!

Open Arms For Asia

I'm still waiting.....for something......I know it will happen....but I'm growing restless.....but I'm waiting non-the-less.......I guess that what it feels like to relay....on God.........yes......waiting, asking that He take the restlessness and turn it into peace.......

Please Watch!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRLRSXd4fzA

"MOST" (Czech for Bridge) .......watch and and think upon what was given for you....

Her

I long to see her now.....to met her......I wonder if I have her smile, if I'm pretty like her......if my hair is like hers.....

Going to things like this........it still hurts, guess I never grew out of it. It only reminds me that I'm not REALLY part of the family, maybe in words, but not blood wise......I won't ever look like them, won't ever have their personaility, don't have any of their smiles, or looks, or hair.....

I miss her, I've never seen her or met her.....but I bet we would have a connection.

I once heard him say that he felt like he was getting in the way of me becoming a mssionary.........those words flooded my mind last night, as I lay contemplating on what tomorrow would bring my way. With that mornings message and the week long reminders of Faith rolling round and round......I found it hard to fall asleep......And then this morning while I was driving a friend to work.....I happened to turn to a station that I was hoping to hear some good tunes....which turned out to be a sermon.....on Faith....on the Garden........

The Garden of Gethsemane. Where in his final hours, Christ experienced pain, fear and lose.......He cried out......Abba Father, not my Will but your Will be done......last summer I never dreamed I would be in the position I am in right now....penniless, waiting and expecting.....but here I am....waiting......

Chuck was speaking about what its like to have

Faith....what its like to depend soly on Christ and no mortal man. As humans I believe that we lean on what this world has to offer us way too much......And now, I am left empty handed, in debt, friendships on Frey and totally and utterly depending on God's promise to get me through the day....

Have you ever wondered what its like to be an infant? To be a child who can't change his/her dipper, who can't feed themselves, needs to be burped, rocked to sleep.....I am an infant in my Abba's arms.....I depend on Him entirely....What does Tomorrow hold for me? I don't have a clue......but I am learning how to lay out all my plans I had for myself, lay them at His feet and say....These are my plans Abba, but if they aren’t your Will.....then the plans are open for change.....

P.S.

My Perfect Planner turned out not so perfect!

To be Loved

To Be Loved

As I was sitting in the park, I closed my eyes and tried to see my surroundings...yes I know what you are thinking....

But I used my other senses.... I could hear the fountain behind me.... the water shooting up in the air and falling with a gentle splash...I heard the leaves dance across the sidewalk and imagined that they were bright orange and fiery red. Could smell the damp ground underneath me, smell the freshly cut grass hinting to it lush green color... I could see all of this as if I were looking onto a canvas as a painter who was painting a giant picture.

These are the moments I live for, that I thirst for! When I can see my creator without opening my eyes.... by sitting in the hush and letting my heart and soul take over.

“I have been driven many times to my knees by the
overwhelming conviction that I had no where else to go.
My own wisdom, and that of all about me, seemed
insufficient for the day."
~Abraham Lincoln

Christ longs for us to live in his arms.... to whisper to us things that are scarred. He longs to wipe the tears and ease the pressures of our mundane lives.... when we seek him in silence, our hearts are softened and our minds are cleared. Joy is restored and reassurance is planted. Grasp at His words or marvel at His glory. Lie at his feet or climb on His lap, listen to His breath and be captivated by who He is and who He wants to you be.

SO........

Sit...listen, fall in love and be loved! Close your eyes and let Him take you away, search your inner being and learn who He wants you to be. Dream big, dare to live! Shine bright and fulfill your call.

Sit, listen, dream, imagine, and Love. Let Him capture you and search you, fill you and cleanse you!

Lost

I am happy that God is still teaching me....bringing me to my knees in humility and showing me my faults yet at the same time showing His unconditional love, grace and mercy.

I am more lost then ever, at this point in my life....I try to seek the voice of God and God alone.....but seem to find myself lost in a deep menacing forest, with very little light.....but once thing I know in my gut...


That God is good.....and all things work out for those who love Him and take heed to His word and to His Glory....my God is good full of compassion, ready to do things that we can't comprehend, things that will blow us away........

Trust......

Trusting is hard.......especially when it comes to the second desire of ones heart.........but I've trusted thus far and He has been faithful.......just so hard to see down this twisty path He's leading me on.......


Love is Patient
Love is kind........

I must be patient because I Love Him....and He is patient with my heart....because He Loves me.....Love is kind......least I am hasty with accusations, He is kind to me.....because He Loves me...


kinda hard to explain.

Stories

Scornfully Ashamed

Scornfully Ashamed

If I could take them back I would, if I could some how turn into the princess they want I would do so in an instant............but I am scornfully ashamed....driven to my knees, face down, shouting and wondering when myself will stop getting in the way.

And when the tears stop I listen intensely for that soft whisper, and I hear sometimes, of promises spoken before my birth, and of oths given to me from the first time I turned my back on Hiim.

Is God real? When I have passion for my faith I tend to hide it, try to show them I can party with the best. When in reality I want to feed the orphans, to hold them close......


And Christ is calling me......and I am so not willing right now, because my past just keeps taughting me .....telling and reminding me I am NOT GOOD ENOUGH! But maybe Jesus is telling me that I must heal and accept that I am a sinner in desprate need of a savior!

That He knows the desires of my heart and that they will come to pass.......when I learn to utterly hide myself in Him.

Changing Seasons

The past few months I had been dwelling in a time of Spring......and now I find myself in a time of Winter. But not in the sense of everything dying and hybernating, but in the sense of being blanketed with snow.Pure white snow, you know the kind that you see when you are a little child and you look outside your window on a crisp winter morning and you see snow gently falling to the ground. When you look out you see a blanket of WHITE coving everything in site......I feel that blanket that white blanket covering me as if to say, YOU ARE PURE. You've asked, begged for forgiveness and I am showing you that your prayers are answered. And just as you look out you see the incredible beauty that the snow produces the crystals on the windows, trees robed in white, and the snowflakes cascading down from Heaven.I am made beautiful once again, but this time I fix my eyes on Christ, the one who died to take away this great sin I once carried, and now, I am free and free to forgive and free to move forward and wait with anticipation. This process HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE but ME! Every single person that God has placed in my life I LOVE DEEPLY and has given his or her heart to me in one way or another and I have no words or actions to deeply express my gratitude.Though we all travel and experience different aspects of life, it is a true sign of love, commitment and joy when we join together and travel with each other. For in the end the path we all travel leads to a Home so glorious a mind has a hard time fathoming it.

He whispers

He whispers I love you, and I take for granted the words he speaks, he tells me I want no one else right now, I use his words against him, he tells me that he loves me, and I long to hear them daily....its how God wired women, they need to know, and God whispers with no hesitations, He encourages their lovers to do the same, if its truly what they feel.Love, such a dangerous action. It can be used against you or used to uphold someone to the highest esteem. Love such a dangerous feeling. To love someone but not tell them, or stop telling them, could send you on a collision path to painful disaster. Love is like the changing tied bringing you to the shore resting you on the warmth of the white sands or taking you chaotically out to sea, leaving you to wander and wonder when it will bring you back to rest joyfully on that white sandy shore again."Male and Female He created them" women, a companion to man. Women, made in the image of God from the rib of man, yet completely different from her companion. Women whom yearns to hear that she is beautiful, that she is needed and wanted. Who longs to hear her lover tell her she is loved, despite her fears, for her joys, her accomplishments, for being herself. Dare to love her despite what she might do or say, for love is dangerous but both will grow in Christ and be stronger. Love her; Please don't let a day go by without telling her, verbally telling her that she is loved. Women, know that there isn't a day that goes by that Christ whispers to you "I love you", and that the men in your life will tell you the same, if it's true.

Rhythm

Rhythm

I am learning how to dance.....

in the rain.......

admits the lightning,

not jumping

when thunder arises

and dreaming of the

rainbow of promise.

This man who possess

more beauty my eyes

have ever be is taking my

hand in his.....

brushes off the dirt,

strokes my cheeks,

cresses me gently and

reminds me.

I take one step out.....and

then one step in

He spins me and a thrill, a rush......

for only a moment

But leaves me breathless,

He brings me in close, so close I can smell his sent,

Staring into His eyes,

the love is too profound, something my soul has searched for

We move together and I feel secure,

and I am lost in the rhythm.

He Paints my Dreams

I love the color of dreams......you know, when you have dreams of great adventure or of complete tranquility. I remember having a dream right before the first snow fall...I was on a train, heading to no where in particular. I stood up on the seat and it felt as if I'm flying above homes that are nestled quietly in the country side. I remember looking at the tops of the trees and ruff tops, and being in awe of the snow glistening in the sunlight. And when I looked up into the sky, soft lavenders, pale blues and a kiss of pink cascaded across the sky......vivid colors that left me breathless.....and then the train stop I step out into the silence, standing....listening.......watching each snow flake fall softly to the ground....Those kind of dreams..............I love it when He paints my dreams...........

Stories

I miss the stories......

By candle light bright......

I miss the whispers as He told me....

What my imagination let me see....

When the first time I read about a garden....

So beautiful full of wonder....

Or what about that small boy?

He decided to fight because he had a God of Power

Wait! there is Ruth, the faitful

Teaching me that there are Noble women out there still

or what about Easter the beautiful, who displayed brilliant courage!

Then there was a little carpenter boy name Jusha

He was strong in every sense and led many to the Father

He taught well, and compassion and love His strongest tools....

There scary parts too...why such tortucher and doom...

But He whispered "WAIT! theres more" and intently I listened...

Victory came with promises that would be kept...

I miss the stories....of a life on earth, only a faint shadow pointing towards something great

Something that has no end...something that I long for with everything inside me.

Kiss

That Love has Kissed me Good-Bye.....but this Love has Kissed me Hello......and which love does my heart desire more....

Serve

Serve.....wait......listen.......be blown away......be humbled..... remember......
Washing this mans feet...there wasn't a second guess, no hesitation. I just wanted to do it, because I loved him. Because he means so much to me.

And I wonder what kinds of feeling Christ has for me. Such feelings that sent Him not to a death, but something far worse then that...tortured. A pain in which I have a hard time comprehending. He proceeded to Hell a place that was to be my home, if not for Him. Live Christ Crucified that was the message, Live Christ Crucified that was what was pulling at my heart.

Isaac was given wood to carry on his back, knowing that something was to happen that would be great, yet simple in action. He carried the wood up to the mountain, and when he asked where the sacrificial lamb was, and his Father looked at him, Isaac said nothing. But I'm sure he probably had the same thoughts running through his mind as Jesus had through his...well in some cases.....

But Live Christ Crucified I can't get that out of my head.....
I am like Isaac- with the pack of sticks on my back, I am willing to be a sacrifice....not knowing really what is to come next, but trusting my Father knows what He's doing....for my good.

Them and Us (Men and Women)

It started with me going on my "myspace" to find a certain quote a friend of mine said, when we starting talking again....but I didn't get past a few old conversations of a past well.......irritation that I some how managed to keep locked in my heart.....if that makes sense.....and what I read was this.......

"your Vocabulary is something phenomenal at times......guys are 'jerks' and really dumb when it comes to the opposite sex and COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS to other girls advances which inevitably ends up in disaster and trying to clean up after the mess is just ridicules but necessary."

and he responded with

"Life is crazy, love... well, love is just ridiculously stupid... but like you said, 'necessary'! "


I didn't like cleaning up after the disaster, and mind you what I read was long before the whole relationship ended. But I knew it, I knew that it was going to happen.....and I am a better person for it, not because I am better then he is, because trust me there were faults on my part too, but because it allowed me to see a little bit more how desperate I am in need of Christ, and how much more growing I need to do before I can give of myself in that manor.

Lessons, sometimes they bite......but I'm willing to learn.....you get so much out of it, if you allow yourself to see the reward.

Set Free Today

Three days ago I was set free.....and now I hear a call.................and I've acted.....and prayed....and am fasting......and praying.....and doors will be opened and new challenges to face.....but I face them not alone!

Angels Obey His Word

he Angels Obey His Word
Today's Scripture

"Praise the LORD, you His angels, you mighty ones
who do His bidding, who obey His Word" (Psalm 103:20, NIV).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

Did you know that when you speak words of faith,
angels are commissioned to move on your behalf?
The Scripture tells us that God gives His angels
charge over us.

That means, when God hears you declaring His Word,
He says to the angels, "Do you hear what my child is
saying? They are speaking faith. Angels, I have an
assignment for you. Go down there and begin to turn
the situation around." And the angels obey His Word!

If we could pull back the curtain on the unseen spiritual realm,
we would see a host of angels and heavenly beings watching
over us.

That´s why it´s so important to guard what we say because
with our words we either open a door for God and His angels
to move on our behalf, or we open a door for the enemy and
the forces of darkness.

Lead Of Love

Looking back I can see the lead of Love.....

Walls

Two days ago I surrendered. Not to say I won't go back to fighting....I mean come on can't you see the wall I've built....I sure there will be other times when the war will break out...I'm human

There I go again, talking as if I'm in control of this wall I've built. This heart has become so cold, so small. You know when your hands get so cold from being out side and when you come back inside you place them under warm water to warm them up, at first you feel nothing, then a sting and then finally eventually they become nice and warm- that's what it is like right now, I think I've come out of the numbing sensation into the stinging sensation....

If you ask them they will tell you that my name should be Israel- one who fights with God, but not just your typical brawl, but an all out fist to fist fight with God. They warned me that I would get tired and soon enough the white flag of surrender would rise....sigh....I don't like it when their right sometimes. SO

Now comes the process of kicking down the walls I've so hastily built, forgiving people that haven't said "I'm sorry" and getting the courage to face others who I've embarrassed....if I ever seen them again...

Come With Me

Come dance with me, He whispered one night, not too long ago...Come dance with me, in the land of the living.

Come dance with me, on the shores of the unforgettable, let your hair down as the wind guides you.

Come dance with me, in the fog of mystery, as you glitter in and out of its embrace. Your steps are light and beauty enhance.

Come dance with me, amongst the stars of Heaven, in the hush of a waking morning.

Come dance with me, He whispered on night not to long ago........

And I will let you steal the show.