I once heard him say that he felt like he was getting in the way of me becoming a mssionary.........those words flooded my mind last night, as I lay contemplating on what tomorrow would bring my way. With that mornings message and the week long reminders of Faith rolling round and round......I found it hard to fall asleep......And then this morning while I was driving a friend to work.....I happened to turn to a station that I was hoping to hear some good tunes....which turned out to be a sermon.....on Faith....on the Garden........

The Garden of Gethsemane. Where in his final hours, Christ experienced pain, fear and lose.......He cried out......Abba Father, not my Will but your Will be done......last summer I never dreamed I would be in the position I am in right now....penniless, waiting and expecting.....but here I am....waiting......

Chuck was speaking about what its like to have

Faith....what its like to depend soly on Christ and no mortal man. As humans I believe that we lean on what this world has to offer us way too much......And now, I am left empty handed, in debt, friendships on Frey and totally and utterly depending on God's promise to get me through the day....

Have you ever wondered what its like to be an infant? To be a child who can't change his/her dipper, who can't feed themselves, needs to be burped, rocked to sleep.....I am an infant in my Abba's arms.....I depend on Him entirely....What does Tomorrow hold for me? I don't have a clue......but I am learning how to lay out all my plans I had for myself, lay them at His feet and say....These are my plans Abba, but if they aren’t your Will.....then the plans are open for change.....

P.S.

My Perfect Planner turned out not so perfect!

To be Loved

To Be Loved

As I was sitting in the park, I closed my eyes and tried to see my surroundings...yes I know what you are thinking....

But I used my other senses.... I could hear the fountain behind me.... the water shooting up in the air and falling with a gentle splash...I heard the leaves dance across the sidewalk and imagined that they were bright orange and fiery red. Could smell the damp ground underneath me, smell the freshly cut grass hinting to it lush green color... I could see all of this as if I were looking onto a canvas as a painter who was painting a giant picture.

These are the moments I live for, that I thirst for! When I can see my creator without opening my eyes.... by sitting in the hush and letting my heart and soul take over.

“I have been driven many times to my knees by the
overwhelming conviction that I had no where else to go.
My own wisdom, and that of all about me, seemed
insufficient for the day."
~Abraham Lincoln

Christ longs for us to live in his arms.... to whisper to us things that are scarred. He longs to wipe the tears and ease the pressures of our mundane lives.... when we seek him in silence, our hearts are softened and our minds are cleared. Joy is restored and reassurance is planted. Grasp at His words or marvel at His glory. Lie at his feet or climb on His lap, listen to His breath and be captivated by who He is and who He wants to you be.

SO........

Sit...listen, fall in love and be loved! Close your eyes and let Him take you away, search your inner being and learn who He wants you to be. Dream big, dare to live! Shine bright and fulfill your call.

Sit, listen, dream, imagine, and Love. Let Him capture you and search you, fill you and cleanse you!

Lost

I am happy that God is still teaching me....bringing me to my knees in humility and showing me my faults yet at the same time showing His unconditional love, grace and mercy.

I am more lost then ever, at this point in my life....I try to seek the voice of God and God alone.....but seem to find myself lost in a deep menacing forest, with very little light.....but once thing I know in my gut...


That God is good.....and all things work out for those who love Him and take heed to His word and to His Glory....my God is good full of compassion, ready to do things that we can't comprehend, things that will blow us away........