I DIDN’T MEAN TO REMEMBER

I DIDN’T MEAN TO REMEMBER


I didn’t mean to remember…
But they collided- innocents with pain of Age.

I didn’t mean to remember…
all the joy the moments brought me-
Adventure thrilling, meaning seeking, hope holding.
What’s a bleeding heart suppose to do
When the disease it holds is the enemy who keeps it captive.

I didn’t mean to remember…
The sunshine’s rays coursing through the tender touches
Or coffee chocolate swirls and sometimes robbing blue brilliance
Drawing me in deeper until all is engulfed.

I didn’t mean to remember…
The sweet sent of a spring’s rain on my cheeks- my neck
As you breathed in…and out.

I didn’t mean to remember…
The song of melodies endless breath
Of the crescendo of mid-nights echo,
Or the beckoning call of waters plea.

I didn’t mean to remember…
REALLY I DIDN’T

My Hand in Yours

Your Hand in Mine

Are you ready to let go? Whatever may come…are you ready to let go? Is your head clear of things that suffocated you for so long?You see my fellow traveler; I have been down this broken road many of times. I have seen the hardships and failures, and wondered myself if the road would ever end. I have seen the seasons change, sometimes all too quickly. It's hard to open your eyes at times, to wonder where you're at. Sometimes you run so fast that you miss the hidden beauty the path maker wanted so desperately for you to see. Sometimes the rain pelted so hard, you couldn't see the path a head of you.Have you ever wondered if you are right; if you strayed somewhere between then and now? I have, I have wondered what went wrong. Why it was so easy and then got so tuff. My shoes have become worn and my clothes tattered. My own stubbornness has gotten in the way. Never stopping for a rest, under the many Olive Tree's I've seen along the way.I walk along your side my hand open to your left. But you haven't looked down to find it, sometimes I wonder if you ever will. It is there to tell you that I have walked down this road many times. It yearns to tell you that you are not a lone. I have seen you before my fellow traveler; I have seen the greatness inside of you. Once upon a time you let it shine, giving me someone to look up to, I admired you and still do.

But wonder if you will ever find my hand, letting you know, I have been here too.

Traveler

A sea of strangers, the many people I have met along the way. But none, none like you. You have held my gaze through this dense fog. At times you have blended in, hiding your face, and then suddenly appear, like a ghost from the past and a dream from the future. My fellow traveler who are you? Your striking similarities are hard to push aside. As I walk faster you begin to blend in again, and so very rarely do you look back and when you do, such sadness in your eyes. However, there are those glimpses of light. Such brilliant light, a smile plays on your lips as if to ask me to dance a long with you, and then you're gone. Most times, my fellow traveler when I see you, confusion paints your face. You walk as if in a trance, not knowing to turn right or left, or to go straight ahead.A sea of black and white, like flowers on a blank canvas, they disappear and come back. But you, you my fellow weary traveler, when you come out from hiding- I see colors, so bright one cannot describe. Faces aghast with just one look, astonished by the striking similarity of you and I.

I have met many of strangers along the way, but none, none like you.

Pages

I feel a little more @ peace- god doesn’t seem non-existent any more - and much more closer then id imagined. When I wanted to quit- scrap the whole story - he pleaded with me to read more and I do have to admit it has been pretty interesting- b was right- he spent so much time writing the story- he constantly is asking me - read more it gets better I promise!

Chapter by chapter.....comes pain and agony. Sometimes I wonder if I even deserve the Joy He wants me to have. And yet there are many more chapters of Joy, excitement and wonder…..The author suggest that I not concentrate on the pain and agony as a enemy, but as stepping stones….of a “how to not” chapters and though hard to get through these chapters…..I will be stronger because of them.

Someone once told me that their relationship with God was much different then mine. They said that, in everything I do, no matter what happens....I ALWAYS turn back to God....ALWAYS....

I guess its second nature for me....to turn back to the one thing that has been so constant in my life....what words of reassurance...that though there are times, days in which I serve a God that seems to be non-existent to me......or at least a God that seem so far away........He reminds me of how close to me HE REALLY IS!

KEEP READING....IT GETS BETTER I PROMISE!