Scornfully Ashamed If I could take them back I would, if I could some how turn into the princess they want I would do so in an instant............but I am scornfully ashamed....driven to my knees, face down, shouting and wondering when myself will stop getting in the way.
And when the tears stop I listen intensely for that soft whisper, and I hear sometimes, of promises spoken before my birth, and of oths given to me from the first time I turned my back on Hiim.
Is God real? When I have passion for my faith I tend to hide it, try to show them I can party with the best. When in reality I want to feed the orphans, to hold them close......
And Christ is calling me......and I am so not willing right now, because my past just keeps taughting me .....telling and reminding me I am NOT GOOD ENOUGH! But maybe Jesus is telling me that I must heal and accept that I am a sinner in desprate need of a savior!
That He knows the desires of my heart and that they will come to pass.......when I learn to utterly hide myself in Him.
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