Walls

Two days ago I surrendered. Not to say I won't go back to fighting....I mean come on can't you see the wall I've built....I sure there will be other times when the war will break out...I'm human

There I go again, talking as if I'm in control of this wall I've built. This heart has become so cold, so small. You know when your hands get so cold from being out side and when you come back inside you place them under warm water to warm them up, at first you feel nothing, then a sting and then finally eventually they become nice and warm- that's what it is like right now, I think I've come out of the numbing sensation into the stinging sensation....

If you ask them they will tell you that my name should be Israel- one who fights with God, but not just your typical brawl, but an all out fist to fist fight with God. They warned me that I would get tired and soon enough the white flag of surrender would rise....sigh....I don't like it when their right sometimes. SO

Now comes the process of kicking down the walls I've so hastily built, forgiving people that haven't said "I'm sorry" and getting the courage to face others who I've embarrassed....if I ever seen them again...